Pinay WAHM

from Joke of the Day He Said, She Said... He said...I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. She said...You wear pants don't you? He said...Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said...That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa. He said...What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? She said...Turn sideways and look in the mirror! On a wall in a ladies room..."My husband follows me everywhere" Written just below it... "I do not" Q.How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? A.Both of them. Q.How does a man show that he is planning for the future? A.He buys two cases of beer. Q.What is the difference between men and government bonds? A.The bonds mature. Q.Why are blonde jokes so short? A.So men can remember them. Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? A.We don't know; it has never h...

from: Joke of the Jay... Generation Next ... There have been a couple of generations in the last sixty years that have missed the boat but this group isn't one of them. A first grade school teacher in Virginia had twenty-five students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the first half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are 1st graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic! 1. Don't change horses...........until they stop running. 2. Strike while the............................bug is close. 3. It's always darkest before..............Daylight Saving Time. 4. Never underestimate the power of ....................termites. 5. You can lead a horse to water but........................how? 6. Don't bite the hand that..........................looks d...

from Joke of the Day ...of course! Amazing how some of these are dead on.... I Am The Law! Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. Law of the Telephone: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with...

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering. Finally fed up, God said, "THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job." So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They faxed. They e-mailed. They e-mailed with attachments. They downloaded. They did spreadsheets! They wrote reports. They created labels and cards. They created charts and graphs. They did some genealogy reports They did every job known to man. Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell. Then, t...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Here are some good definition of what 'greatest' pain really mean. I got this from my ' Joke of the Day ' email. They make sense, a whole lotta' sense. So I thought of writing them here. Read on.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "The Greatest Pain" The greatest pain in life is not to die, but to be ignored. - To lose the person you love so much to another who doesn't care at all. - To have someone you care so about so much throw a party... and not tell you about it. - When your favorite person on earth neglects to invite you to his graduation. - To have people think that you don't care. The greatest pain in life, is not to die, but to be forgotten. - To be left in the dust after another's great achievement. - To never get a call from a friend, just saying "hi". - When you show someone your ...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Children with their innocence can do or say the funniest things sometimes. Some of the things they say or do can make even the saddest person happy. I know, I have a five year old that proves this is true. Here are some funnies that I got from email. Enjoy! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Children in Church... 3-year-old Reese: "Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name. Amen." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he ...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It's Saturday...a day to take things easy. Right! Well, sort of. I went to bed so late, I woke so late as well. Oh my. I guess my plan of getting back on track with the time change is not happening yet. I thought I was doing good yesterday because I woke up 'almost' my normal time but today...nyek! Anyway, nothing much is happening in the home front. As usual, the husband is at work and I'm here typing away as soon as I finished brushing my teeth...haha. So here we are having our brunch. Well, not really. I'm sure we're going to have lunch when our tummy start growling again. Here's a 'blond joke' to start my day.... I Love L.A...We Love It! A beautiful young blonde woman boards a plane to LA with a ticket for the coach section. She looks at the seats in coach and then looks ahead to the first class seats. Seeing that the first class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable, she moves forward...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Years ago, in London , Sir Moses Montefiore, the well known industrialist and philanthropist, was meeting with the British Queen over tea. In a very “un-British” manner, the Queen asked, “So tell me, Sir Moses, what are you worth?” He replied, “My dear Queen, please allow me to go through my records and I will present you the information in a week.” So they met again for tea and Sir Moses presented the Queen with an accounting of his “Worth”. To which the Queen commented, “Sir Moses, this is truly a very large amount, but I personally know that your holdings in a particular project are worth more than this.” Sir Moses smiled and said, “My dear Queen, you are mistakenly comparing how much money I have vs. How Much I Am Worth. The money I have, God gave to me, and it can be taken away at any time. It is not truly mine. The amount I gave you on the paper is what I have given away to help others – to build hospitals and support orphanages, to help my...

================================ Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. Variation Law : If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. Law of Close Encounters: The prob...

A dear old lady was asked what she used to make her complexion so beautiful and her whole being so bright and attractive. She answered: "I use for my lips. . . truth I use for my voice . . kindness I use for my ears . . compassion I use for my hands . . charity I use for my figure . . uprightness I use for my heart . . love I use for any who do not like me . . prayer." Just a reminder for each and everyone of us.... ....that while we all appreciate outside beauty, what really counts is the true inner beauty of a each person. From: Joke of the day

Courage and Bravery For Life... A man appears before St. Peter at the pearly gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asks. "Well, I can think of one thing," the man offers. "On a trip to the Black Hills, out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of macho bikers who were threatening a young woman." I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker I smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground, and told him, "Leave her alone now or you'll answer to me." St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?" "Just a couple minutes ago." Joke of the Day

As we ushered in the New Year last night, the number on the calendar switched from 7 to 8. This is not a mere changing of a digit but is an event which creates unlimited possibilities and opportunities. Why is this phenomena especially strong on this year? Our sages teach us that the number 7 is the definition of the natural Divine order of things. The world was created in 7 days. We have a 7 day week and so on., The number eight – 8 – represents going beyond the natural boundaries. It represents going beyond our natural - or more likely, going beyond our perceived limitations. Turn “8” on its side and what do you get. The symbol for infinity: So on a practical level, what does this mean to you? The greatest challenge we all have is to get out of our own way. Quoting a line from the Declaration of Independence: “We are all endowed by our Creator with Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.” But we are also endowed with tremendous talents and abilities to help make the world a bett...

A Mens-Only Weight Loss Program ... A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe with a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, 'If you can catch me, I'm yours.' Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised. He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing a skimpy running outfit, running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, 'If you catch me, I'm yours.' We...

Ode to a Computer... If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort, And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report. If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, And the double clicking icon puts your window in the trash, And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash, Then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash. If the label on the cable on the table at your house, Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol, That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall, And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse, Then you may as well reboot it, and let it go out with a bang, 'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang. When the copy of your floppy's getting sl...