Thursday, February 5, 2009

The Dictionary

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco
rolled in paper
with fire at one end
and a fool at the other!

MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement
wherein
a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her master

DIVORCE:
Future Tense
of Marriage

LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information
from the notes of the lecturer
to the notes of students
without passing through the minds
of either

COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing
a cake in such a way that
everybody believes
he got the biggest piece

TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which
masculine will power is
defeated by feminine water-power!

DICTIONARY:
A place where divorce comes
before marriage

CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on

ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel
you are going to feel
a feeling
you have never felt before

CLASSIC:

A book
which people praise,
but never read

SMILE:

A curve
that can set
a lot of things straight!

OFFICE:

A place
where you can relax
after your strenuous
home life

YAWN:
The only time
when some married men
ever get to open
their mouth

ETC:
A sign
to make others believe
that you know
more than
you actually do

COMMITTEE:

Individuals
who can do
nothing individually
and sit to decide
that nothing can be done
together

EXPERIENCE:

The name
men give
to their
Mistakes

ATOM BOMB:
An invention
to bring an end
to all
inventions

PHILOSOPHER:

A fool
who torments himself
during life,
to be spoken of
when dead

DIPLOMAT:

A person
who tells you
to go to hell
in such a way
that you actually look forward
to the trip

OPPORTUNIST:
A person
who starts taking bath
if he
accidentally falls
into a river

OPTIMIST:

A person
who while falling
from EIFFEL TOWER
says in midway
"SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"

PESSIMIST:
A person
who says that
O is the last letter
in ZERO,
Instead of the first letter
in OPPORTUNITY

MISER:

A person
who lives poor
so that
he can die RICH!

FATHER:
A banker
provided by
nature

CRIMINAL:

A guy
no different
from the other,
unless he gets caught

BOSS:

Someone
who is early
when you are late
and late
when you are early

POLITICIAN:

One who
shakes your hand
before elections
and your Confidence
Later

DOCTOR:

A person
who kills
your ills
by pills,
and kills you

8 comments:

Ritchelle said...

haha,natawa tuloy ako imbes na sobrang lungkot,divorce before marriage?haha

Ritchelle said...

Nakakayanan naman po ung panggugulpi,kaso sobrang sakit nung sinipa-sipa,sinuntok-suntok at ninakawan pa.eh mga menor de edad wala naman ding paki ang mga magulang,ung hoodie gangs po?dami ng nagreklamo,mostly blacks o mga foreigners yung binibiktima.Kakaiyak nga po eh...

eto at malapit na hehe...hahay buhay!

Umma said...

Hahaha kakatuwa naman ang mga meaning Mommy J.. Ii enjoyed reading it ... keep posting..

ROSILIE said...

Cant help but smile a lot.hehhehehe! cute sis! Sarap ilecture sa iba.hahahhah

Juliana said...

haha, this one is funny. even with my tension headache nakuha kung tumawa.

BongFlo said...

very funny J! dropped by here today to read up. ciao!

Lynn said...

haha! funny!

may natira pa bang lasagna, mommy J? penge. LOL.

Vincent Bautista said...

Hahaha! So funny but there's a truth in every one! ^_^

I like this one:

ETC:
A sign
to make others believe
that you know
more than
you actually do


Para kung hindi ko na kailangan i-enumerate ang answers, etc na lang hahaha! ^_^

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