8 Years....

...since my Tatang passed. Just like my Nanay who 'left' 4 months ahead of him, I miss him so much. I was, am, and will always be his little girl.

My throat hurts at this moment while typing because I'm trying not to cry as the little one is here beside me.

So who is this man we fondly call 'Tatang'? He's a very hardworking man who spent his entire life trying to make a living to support everyone in his family, some siblings and his mother included.

He never finished school because at the age of 16, he was already working full time to help augment his family's income. He got married a bit late [at 29] because of this "responsibility". He and my mother didn't start a family of their own right away because he wanted to help his family a little more I guess.

We didn't have a lot of material things growing up but he made it a point to be there all the time. I remember not having a television set for the first 12 years of my life but we never cared about it because he would tell us stories or jokes during the time that some other kids with TVs were glued on their television sets. We grew up in a house full of laughter because of his funny stories to keep us entertained.

My going to [and finishing] college was an accomplishment not only for me but for him as well because his dream of getting a degree would finally be realized through me. He spent the first 2 weeks of my college life teaching me how to commute to and from school. During my 4 years in college, he would visit me at my dorm twice a week, to give me allowance and to bring me clean clothes. He did that for 4 years without fail.

He was with me when I applied for my first real teaching job. He was there when I did my demo teaching. And he was the one who brought me to my apartment when I moved in to start my life as a full time teacher. He would call me every week just to check if there's anything I needed and if I did, he would make the hours of commute just to bring it to me.

When I taught overseas, he would call me just to hear my voice and know that I was doing ok...that's all he needed...to hear my voice. He would tell me that nothing made him happier than to see me everytime I would come home from anywhere I've been.

He gave me a pair of RayBan sunglasses when I first started teaching. I wore them with pride every chance I got. One day I was on my way home to visit them. I was riding a jeepney from Sucat to Baclaran, somebody snatched the sunglasses off of my face. There was nothing I could do because the jeepney was in motion. All I did was cry all the way home. I met my father along the way and told him of what happened. I thought he would get mad. Instead he just hugged me and told me that it's something replaceable. That he's happy nothing happened to me. He sent me home feeling a little better. When he got home that night, he had a surprise for me: a new pair of RayBan sunglasses. I don't know where he got them as I knew they cost a 'fortune' with the little money he made with his job. But he didn't care of the cost...all he wanted to show me that yes, those pair of sunglasses were indeed replaceable.

Just like my mother, he left while I was away. The only difference: I was able to spend with him about 2 months of his last days. That somehow eases some of the pain that his departure caused me. I know he's happy where he is right now...with my mother. But if I can, I would like to spend just one more day with him and my mother just to tell them that I love them and I am honored to be called 'their daughter'....